Chip off the old block

I think you're tricking me mummy....
No, really, crisps are potatoes, too
But when I bite into them, I can't see any potato

-------------------

I had a little win last night - fish and chips for dinner. I say "little" because the young 'uns wouldn't touch the chips. "Real" chips, you see, are not made from potatoes! Potatoes are GROSS!

I was happy with the meal. Happy enough to take a snapshot. Say non-dairy cheese!

Today started off ok, pikelets for breakfast - yes, again, bloominheck there's nothing else* - and potato cakes for lunch (ha ha, no Boy did not eat them).

And for dinner, I planned a splendid meal of homemade spring rolls using rice paper. Inspired! It was an awesome idea which literally fell apart in the execution as my lovingly prepared rolls burst in the frying oil and created an enormous gelatinous mess.**

They were edible unfried, which is just as well. I nearly repeated my error of Day 2, when my failed attempts at creating something different left us hungry as I had no backup prepared. Always have a backup. Even if it's just a packet of plain salted crisps.

Tomorrow we venture out for half the day. Will I be able to feed us while we're out? Will I be able to prevent my desperate seagull children from claiming verboten food? Stay tuned....



*There was some cereal. I thought it was ok, but I didn't actually read the label properly. Then we magically ran out over night.

** Note:  Not nearly as messy as my falafal fail.

Let them have cake!

Gluten-free carob cake
Recipe stolen and adapted from http://fedup.com.au/recipes/sweet-things-biscuits-desserts/gluten-free-carob-cake

Put
125g of nuttelex
11/2 cups of sugar
2 Tb carob powder
1 cup of water
Into a saucepan and simmer till mixed together

Add 1 ts baking soda and enjoy the show

Allow to cool a bit (I continued on with warm gloop, seemed to work just fine)

Mix together
2 eggs
1 cup rice flour
1/2 cup brown rice flour
3/4 cup plain gluten free flour
1ts baking powder

Add in the brown gloop gradually and mix with beaters till smooth. It'll be very runny.

Cook it at 200 degrees (bit lower in a fan-forced oven) for about 50 minutes.

I can't believe it's not tomato

Spllff. Ucky ucky!

-----------------

Another day, another triumph in the kitchen.

I know the kids won't eat it, but it's not *that* bad

First: No-Tomato Sauce

It won't pass the Boy test - no way! - but Daddy might give it a go.
What's in it? Do you really want to know....?

And next - Baked Beans. Sort of... but not really

Take that foodie-bloggers

Bad mummy!

If you're grumpy and you know it...

----------

Ooops. I got a note from Boy's teacher today. I thought I could sneak some cashew paste into his sandwich* but they obviously check everything! I also didn't realise crisps were not allowed. Boo! WTF else can I give him that he'll actually eat?

We had a dinner win with some lovely fish!

And I'm feeling demoralised. I thought we had two weeks of this then some challenges and we were done. Right? Except each challenge takes a week or  longer...?!!?! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark.

Kids are getting so feral I fear they may eat me.

Thank goodness for vodka and magic cordial.

In other news, Daddy was a very naughty boy and had a COFFEE today! And there was an immediate, bad reaction. Take that Daddy! And now back to your cardboard.



*don't hate on me, no one in his class has an allergy to anything

Where we're at

Mummy. Can we have TV on this diet?

---------------

So, we're almost half way through. How are we going?

First, me. You know, the one organising everything and the one who doesn't have any food issues. I think I've fared the worst. Perhaps I really NEED gluten, dairy, MSG and salycilates to function properly...? I am craving horrible, nasty processed food. And chocolate.

And, because of the sulphites (and salywhotchamacalits, etc) we've had to stop wine! I could use this as an excellent motivation to endure a longer-term alcohol-free period.... but I've got some magic cordial simmering and a bottle of vodka chilling...

Daddy has been sleeping a bit better. He's mostly stopped grumbling, but still mutters things about cardboard and coffee... Poor man has had to give up his daily cup(s). Boo. Hoo.

The kids are irascible and inclined to mutiny. I must watch them very carefully. The Boy had a meltdown at the supermarket today because he might not be able to eat hypothetical food at a hypothetical birthday party if we were to, hypothetically, go to one while on this diet.

**TMI alert**
Boy has had some solid poo, though. He has also still been complaining about a sore tummy, so we'll see how things pan out over the next week. With luck, this will all have been worth it.

Food-wise, I've discovered that the key to survival is simplicity - forget about recreating diet-friendly versions of "real" food, just cook some meat and veg (of the non-verboten kind) and submit yourself to blandness. Thank goodness we are not vegetarians.

Tomorrow's challenge: Our first school lunch. I'm baking some "bread" for a cashew paste "sandwich", to which I will add some vegie sticks and a packet of crisps. He's sure to eat the crisps.

Cheers.

Days 3 & 4 - Looking on the bright side...

And 'lo, the deceiver delivered unto them an approximation of spaghetti
And they rejoiced, thinking it true
But the canny child spake honest:
This is GROSS!

..............................

Day 3.
I feel wretched. At first I thought it was this lovely new diet messing with me, but I think I have a tummy bug. Great timing.

The good news is that the mantle of responsibility has passed - at least for today - to Daddy. He has acquitted himself well, in that the kids have eaten. I'm sticking to fizzy "magic" cordial.

Day 4.
Grandma takes over and we have potato cakes for lunch - yummo.

And really there isn't much else to report, except that gluten-free spaghetti only works if it's coated in tasty sauce, and we have nothing tasty with which to make such a sauce, so we're left with 'gross'.

Days 1 & 2

No, I don't own a Thermomix.

...........

Actually cooking food from scratch takes heaps of time! Not just the preparation, but the cleaning up afterwards.

But I am valiant and hard working, etc, etc, so I press on.

We did not starve on Day 1. Hooray! In desperation, the Boy eats my "disgusting" food*.

Today I trialed a bread that could not double as a blunt instrument. Win. We also had crumbed chicken and veg for dinner. Actually yum.

Day 2 got off to a shaky start - the Boy did not want toast for breakfast. But we can't have pikelets and maple syrup every day, can we?

I spend hours - seriously - trying to get stuff ready for lunch.
Falafal - FAIL.
Mayonnaise - FAIL.
Flat bread - FAIL.

WTF? I totally followed the recipes. More or less.

So, for lunch we supped on vegie sticks. And some plain salted potato chips.

For afternoon tea, Justababy added in some blue paint to her diet. I'm not sure if it's allowed.

Dinner was less ambitious - Chicken drumsticks and steamed veg. Edibility win.

And I had a lovely steaming mug of carob drink before bed. My husband inquired if it tasted like chocolate. Nup, it tastes like carob. Well, it's brown, he says. Yep, but so are lots of things.


*It's always disgusting, that's nothing new.

Back story...

It's not fascinating, so I'll keep it brief.
Boy has tummy troubles. We spoke to a dietician. Now we're doing a hard-core, crazy-arse elimination diet.
We're cutting out gluten, dairy, a bunch of additives and foods high in salycilates/amines/glutamates for TWO whole weeks.
That's the hell part.
The starvation part may come into play as we're relying my ability to engineer edible food from what's left over.

I started doing a bit of prep beforehand. This included baking up some "gluten, dairy, egg, nut-free crumpet bread*. Yum. Right?
I wish I'd had my camera here to capture it. I didn't, so I'll describe it. It looked like a big lump of dog shit. It smelt foul. It actually tasted ok with lots and lots of cashew paste.


*Whateverthefuck that is supposed to be